An Honest, Hilarious Look at Getting a Traditional College Education in This Economy

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Sol Luckman

In the words of forward-thinking economist and theoretician of the university of the future, Charles Hugh Smith, “Higher education is just the latest in a long line of labor-intensive industries with enormous fixed costs that now faces competition from new technologies and new far more efficient systemic processes.”

Going a step further, I propose that, pick your subject matter, and you will find that today’s universities basically teach a pack of boldfaced lies—and charge you out the wazoo for the ego-stroking privilege of stressing yourself out to learn them.

My advice: rather than attend college, consider how much more fulfilled you might be if you wake up, grow up, and do something truly original and meaningful with your life.

The following dialogue from my forthcoming novel, SNOOZE: A STORY OF AWAKENING, between Max Diver, the protagonist, and an anthropology professor at his Ivy League university, Dr. Andrew Icarus, also speaks—from the belly of the beast, as it were—to the inanity of so-called higher education these days. Max asks Professor Icarus,

“What else did your sources say about me?”

“You really want to know?”

“If I didn’t before, I certainly do now.”

“Well, they say you’re in serious danger of flunking out after your first semester. Somehow I find that difficult to conceptualize.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t.”

 “So it’s true?”

 “Oh, it’s true.”

 “I’m confused, Max. You just got here with a stellar high school record. Are you finding the university’s academic standards too rigorous?”

“It’s not that.”

 “Do you find higher learning itself somehow … distasteful?”


 “Or useless. Or meaningless. You wouldn’t be the first person to conclude that the last place to get an education is college.”

“I wouldn’t?”

 “No. I’m afraid I beat you to it. The wide world is a far better teacher than the ivory tower.”

With this brief introduction, enjoy the following inspired parody of all those advertisements that try to paint a glowing picture of going *sshole-deep in debt just to get a good brainwashing, aka a college eduction—and for what?

Copyright © Sol Luckman. All Rights Reserved.

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Sol Luckman is a prolific visual artist and critically acclaimed author. His books include the international bestselling CONSCIOUS HEALING and its popular sequel, POTENTIATE YOUR DNA. Sol is also author of the BEGINNER’S LUKE Series of seriocomic novels characterized by Reader Views as a “modern-day ALICE IN WONDERLAND” and by Apex Reviews as a “mind-bending journey through the mind of the ultimate iconoclast.” His latest novel, SNOOZE: A STORY OF AWAKENING, set for release in 2014, is the riveting, coming-of-age tale of one extraordinary boy’s awakening to the world-changing reality of his dreams. View Sol’s paintings, read his blog and learn more about his work at

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