Mike Bundrant
The DSM-5 diagnostic criteria are so poorly written, vague and subjective that we all qualify for a variety of mental diagnoses, depending on the spin we use to describe our situation—or the spin in the mind of the one doing the diagnosis.
In fact, many doctors absolutely qualify. Let’s take a look at the official DSM-5 criteria for schizophrenia.
There are five. You must have at least two of the five to qualify. At least one of the two must be among the first three. Symptoms must be experienced for at least a month before an official diagnosis can be secured. That’s the way this game show works.
1. Delusions
According to the DSM-5, a delusion is a false belief based on an incorrect inference about external reality that is held firmly in spite of overwhelming evidence to the contrary.
As examples …
• The delusion that medication with disastrous side effects improves your health;
• The delusion that patients can be properly served in 10 minutes or less;
• The delusion the doctor is under when he says, “It’s all in your head”;
• Or the one that doctors are God.
2. Hallucinations
According to the DSM-5, a hallucination is a perception-like experience with the clarity and impact of a true perception.
A doctor’s primary hallucination is the patient. He thinks he is perceiving a patient with a set of symptoms. Then, he sees those symptoms in his mind and wants to attack them.
What is actually in front of him is a whole person with a life of his or her own, complete with a personal history, wants and dreams, emotions and relationships. The doc misses this reality in favor of the hallucinated patient and set of symptoms.
3. Disorganized Speech or Incoherence
Ever heard a doc try to explain what is going on inside your body? You might blame your lack of understanding on a lack education in medical matters.
The truth is, however, you are intelligent enough to understand your body. The doctor’s incoherence comes from inept communication skills.
4. Grossly Disorganized or Catatonic Behavior
I’d call cutting off the wrong leg disorganized behavior. Docs are notorious for doing this, as well as removing the wrong organs and treating the wrong person for the right disease.
When teams of docs work together, the lack of organization and incoherence is compounded to life-threatening levels.
5. Negative Symptoms, such as Diminished Emotional Expression
Diminished emotional expression? I don’t even need to explain this one.
To paraphrase a line from Patch Adams: We are going to train the humanity right out of you and turn you into something better. You are going to become doctors!
NOTE TO DOCTORS: If this articles offends you, then your resistance may be evidence that you are in denial of your mental illness. I suggest you see a psychiatrist and get on meds. The anti-psychotics will make you gain 300 pounds and walk around like a zombie. Just remember, though, the medicine is here for a reason.
Copyright © Mike Bundrant. All Rights Reserved
Mike Bundrant is co-founder of the iNLP Center and host of “Mental Health Exposed,” a Natural News Radio program. Follow him on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/mikebundrant for daily personal development tips.