[🏖 Excerpted from MUSINGS FROM A SMALL ISLAND …]
Sol Luckman
I’ve never been much of a holiday person. Truth be known, I really don’t care for anything calling itself a holiday. Corporatized, monetized, anaesthetized, lobotomized—that’s what holidays are to me.
Here are the facts as I see them:
Christmas was invented by Coca-Cola, Valentine’s Day by Hallmark, and Easter by Cadbury. Cinco de Mayo is the brainchild of Corona. Mother’s Day and Father’s Day (and probably someday soon, Children’s Day and even Embryos’ Day) are designed with one capitalistic goal in mind: to compel the working stiffs of the world to fling offerings they can’t afford on the altar of retail.
Few things get under my skin more than being compelled to be nice. Like a rebellious high schooler, I go to great lengths to inject any holiday based on obligatory gift giving with lethal doses of sarcasm just to assert my independence from the Machine.
Speaking of independence, the American holiday that provokes me most, July 4th, doesn’t even require giving gifts. Talk about life’s little ironies.
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